Postman

A post man had been working all day in the pouring rain he was almost finished apart from one last letter he had to deliver, he had to take it two miles down a small country road, by the time he got there he was soaked through, muddy and sore:
He entered the garden, closed the gate and turned round to be greeted by two huge paws landing on his chest. There was a massive 10 stone Rottweiler standing in front of him, he was terrified.
Just then the window of the house opened and a little old lady said. "Don’t worry sonny just kick his b#lls."
He Said. "What?"
She said. "Kick his b#lls he likes that."
This post man had on regulation size 12 military steel toe cap boots, 18 lace holes and football size studs, he went WALLOP and booted the dog square in the b#lls.
The dog went. "Yelp, yelp , yellllpppp!" And collapsed with its knees knocking together.
The old lady said. "You're in BIG trouble now!"
He said. "Why?"
She said. "I meant his balls on the grass beside you!"