Elderly ladies

Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch in Clearwater,
doing nothing.
One lady turns and asks, 'Do you still get horny?'
The other replies, 'Oh sure I do.'
The first old lady asks, 'What do you do about it?'
The second old lady replies, 'I suck a lifesaver.'
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, 'Who drives you to the beach?'

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Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home
in Largo reminiscing.
The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands,
the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.
The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also,
and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece.
The third old lady remarked, 'I can't hear a word you're saying,
but I remember the guy you're talking about.