FORUM POEM

[Bignuggs]

This is what happens when you give a man a computer and he's bored. No apologies and it's all Pete's fault :rolf: but Ray started it :rolf:


The kalgoorlie ratbags R Back in town
drivin big trucks round and round,
they all had large Cranks but the buggers were busted,
and worst of it all was their NUTS where all rusted.

So one says "i'll fix it" you bastards are lame
you dont have a clue when it comes to this game
And it was Ken the king of men,
who said stand aside, many did and many died.
workin and slavin, Kennies the Man
under the tractor with his tool in his hand.
Now his tool it was heavy and a loverly sight
but last time he used it - he left it covered in shite


Hay street Hay street what a sight
Think I'll go have a shag tonight
Said cliff as he walked in door with a swagger
he's proud and he's pissed and they say he's a good shagger.

So out comes the lad all sweaty and broken
and clutchin in his hand a "free shag" token
Big Mary was lame but oh what a dame
A bum like the moon and a face like a prune

The problem that came the morning thereafter,
Was not the shagging that Cliffy was after.
He farted a fingernail out all glittered and glossed,
It was time now to see who reported the loss.
She was pickin my ring coz we're getting married
Now leave us alone I've got have face buried
Old Ray from the K says "my god what've i started,
And he cocks up a cheeck and he gloriously farted,
it would seem that farting was common round here
but to fart out a fingernail, now thats bloody queer.

My god came a cry from one of the workers,
some b@stard be eating turds and hamburgers.
Iv smelt some of the best farts around,
but thats the best one iv tasted in this friggen town.

Now look out you bloke's says kev wilson himself
If you buy me a shag you can drink the top shelf
So Pete says"i'll shout Kev have no fear mate i will
And he jumps over the bar and rips the cash out the til.

The skimpy yells out "ay pete ya cheeky barstard"
"I'll get the bouncer your already plastered"
But pete bein swift and nimble on his feet
legs it up hannan st.

With the cash from the til and a look in his eye
he runs back to Hay St to gave the place a try
Pete wasn't plastered he's just an old Barstard
and Mary was waitin with legs well parted

Now pete was all ready to hand over the readies
but he wanted a shag not an old bag with no titties
So "get out me way Mary" says pete in a fluster
I came here to shag a thin girl not a southerly bust

He forgot about Trove and in he dove
went in head first and hit the stove
That'll teach ya says Mary and she's nice an hairy
If ya want thin gals go see a bloody fairy

Struth! cries pete whats goin on here
you got me mistaken i'm no bloody queer
I'll shag the lotta yaz one by one
and he shagged and he shagged
until all the cash was gone

So one by one he shagged em all
the thin the fat the short and the tall
and on a quiet night if you listen real good
you can hear pete still shaggin as expected he could

So there's the story in all it's glory
Petes a shagger and a little horny
Go bush with him you're in for a treat
You'll never get outa Kal or Hay Street

[big chop]

well done fellas you've put together a charming poem good onya

[Bignuggs]

BC, this came from a group of dirty old buggers not just me. but thanks for the compliment :rolf:

[big chop]

yer sorry just read everyone elses input

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