You gotta love Little Vito

Little Vito On Math:

A teacher asks her class, 'If there are five birds sitting on a
fence, and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?' She
calls on Little Vito.

He replies, 'None. They will all fly away with the first gunshot.'

The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is four, but I like your thinking.'

Then, Little Vito says, 'I have a question for YOU.

There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream, one is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?'

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, 'Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.'

To which Little Vito replied, 'The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on',but I like your thinking.'
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LITTLE VITO ON MORE MATH:

Little Vito returns from school, and he says he got an 'F' in arithmetic.

'Why?' asks Little Vito's father?

'The teacher asked me: 'How much is 2x3’? I said 6', replies Little Vito.

'But that's right!' says Little Vito's Dad.

'Yeah, but then she asked me: 'How much is 3x2?''

'What's the f##king difference?' asks Little Vito's father . . .

'That's what I said!'
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LITTLE VITO ON ENGLISH

Little Vito goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today, we are going to learn multi-syllable words, Class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'

Little Vito says, 'Mas-tur-bate.'

Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, Little Vito, that's a mouthful.'

Little Vito says, 'No, Miss Rogers. You're thinking of a blow-job.'
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LITTLE VITO ON GRAMMAR:

Little Vito was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, 'Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!'

The teacher replied, 'Now, VITO, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'
Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.'

Little Vito, thinks for a bit, and then says, 'You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!'
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LITTLE VITO ON MORE GRAMMAR:
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word 'beautiful' in the same sentence twice correctly.

First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with,
'My father bought my mother a beautiful dress, and she looked beautiful in it'

'Very good, Suzie,' replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
'My mommy planned a beautiful banquet, and it turned out beautiful.'

She said, 'Excellent, Michael!'


Then the teacher reluctantly called on Little Vito. He said, 'Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, just f##king beautiful!'

Ayyyyyyyyyyy

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